hah yea wow i havent updated this in a frikkin year..... alright first of all i wanna get a few things out. im not depressed, im pissed, theres a difference. its ok to admit that some things suck, that doesnt make you negative, it doesnt make you a pessimist, it makes you realistic. to say that being caught on fire has an upside to it is bullshit, and to everyone that thinks there is one allow me to say shut the fuck up youre lying to yourself. now, this is not to say that good things dont come out of things that suck, for example if you get caught on fire because thats your end of the deal, and in return your child will never be poor or hungry, and will lead a good life. thats a massive exaggeration, but you get the point. however, while being on fire it is ok to say "wow, this really blows ass. sure my kid is gonna be fine forever, but fuckin hell this hurts like a bitch!" THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. i at one time was one of those people that thought there was a good part of everything, and i realize that generally there is, but many times in things that suck enough ass, that good thing is a lot less than the shittiness of it, and therefore its ok to say that the particular thing sucks, just as long as you make sure to note that there is at least some goodness to it.

alright on to the next order of business. stupid people fucking suck. i work at hot topic, and lemme just say that if you got somethin to say about it, go for it i could really care less. i probably usedta think the same way you thought about the store, that all they are is a corporate moneymaker shithead "goth" poser store. yall can still think that if you want, i dont give a fuck. but enough about that, the point is that when i work there, i deal with some of the stupidest people on the entire planet. not the people i work WITH, mind you, but the customers, and other such people that come in to look at stuff, fuck up the fold job that i gotta fix, and then end up not buying it. i am also sick of people coming in, looking at our fucking marvin gaye, johnny cash, and hank williams shirts and saying "yo, das shirt is haaaaard". SHUT UP!! NO ONE CARES ABOUT FUCKING MARVIN GAYE, JOHNNY CASH, OR HANK WILLIAMS!!!!! also, if you cant figure out how to look in front of you, pick up a shirt, and read a sticker that says "large", you dont deserve to scream at my ass to pick it up and tell you that it says "large". thanks.

if you have nothing to say, dont fucking keep talking.

its ok to not look before crossing the street in a residential area, because the hit will not kill you, and as long as youre not j-walking youll get money after you sue.

i have other people who i could throw shit at, but everyone should know by now thats not how i end my journals. laura, you above all are the one who keeps me realistic. youre the one who lets me say that things suck when they really do, without me sounding like an emo kid. youre the one who, if given the opportunity, would broadcast to the world, by my side, the fact that marvin gaye, hank williams, and johnny cash are not people that need to be liked just because they are on a new shirt. laura, without you, i would be trying to convince myself somehow that being caught on fire feels good. youre the one that makes sure that i seize every fucking day, living each day like the next wont come, but if it does it sure as hell will be a great fuckin day. laura, i love you, and i thank you for keeping me..... me, and not someone who i know im not. thank you for you, and for always.

alright thats it, later people.

-Coel

PS. fuck people who hate other people instantly simply cuz of what they wear, or what they look like. this goes for people who hate people who wear all black, that kinda thing, AS WELL AS people who wear all black who cant even consider liking people who wear pink. THEYRE CLOTHES. WHEN YOU DIE, WORMS EAT THEM, UNLESS YOURE BURIED NAKED. you determine you, not the color of your shirt, dumbass.